When providing care to aging or disabled parents, many caregivers ignore the most important person involved in the caregiving process. "Who?" - you may ask? The answer might surprise you: The Caregiver.

Many times caregivers get so wrapped up in attending to parent’s needs, trying to fit quality time with their own family into their schedule, and oftentimes attempting to balance a career, they forget or simply neglect to take some time for their own personal needs.

As a caregiver, the results of not allocating personal time can easily lead to intense emotions such as stress, anxiety, frustration, guilt, and feeling extremely overwhelmed. Many caregivers fail to realize that these emotions and feelings could lead to caregiver burnout.

If you have just taken the reins as a caregiver to your parent, or perhaps you have been serving in the role for years, you may have never heard of the term “caregiver burnout” or would even recognize the early warning signs. And you may not be aware that caregivers have an increased risk for depression, diabetes, heart disease, and other health problems.

Caregiver burnout is the unpleasant side effects many adult children have to cope with when providing care to their aging or disabled parents. The signs and symptoms of caregiver burnout may display themselves physically, mentally, and emotionally.

The most important thing to remember as a caregiver, and to avoid burnout, is to make some time for yourself. Whether it is treating yourself to a shopping trip, preparing your favorite meal, or going on a vacation getaway for the weekend with your own family, remember you should not feel guilty for putting your own wants and needs first.

The second thing to remember as a caregiver is never hesitate or feel embarrassed to ask for help. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, ask a sibling or another family member for assistance. You may also consider adult day care, or respite care to provide you some relief.

Even if you just need a day away from your role as caregiver, don’t let your guilty conscience persuade you otherwise. It would be better to enjoy a day of rest and relaxation to rejuvenate your mind, body, and soul before letting yourself fall into the ruts of burnout.

There are proven and effective methods to combat and prevent caregiver burnout. These techniques are easy and simple daily activities. Anyone can practice these burnout-relieving techniques, whether it’s taking an early morning jog or writing in a journal before bed.

You will find yourself amazed at how taking less than an hour a day can alleviate the stress and anxiety that comes along with providing care to an aging or disabled parent, especially those with rapidly deteriorating health or suffering from the heart-wrenching effects of Alzheimer’s disease.

In addition of ways to prevent caregiver burnout, there are also many helpful resources available to guide you through the confusing emotions and physically exhausting situations you may find yourself in as a caregiver. If you feel you may already be experiencing burnout, talk to someone, whether it’s your spouse, friend, or physician.

Do you know someone acting as a caregiver to an aging or disabled parent, maybe a friend, loved-one, or a co-worker? Are you serving as the role of caregiver yourself? Do the emotional challenges seem impossible to deal with some days, and you just don’t know how you can handle anymore?

As a caregiver for my mother, I would like to share my personal experiences and insight on how to successfully cope with the emotional challenges of serving as a caregiver to an aging or disabled parent. In my e-book Becoming Your Parent’s Caregiver, I detail my caregiver experiences and helpful resources to help you cope with all the emotional challenges you may face while serving as caregiver.

I believe the best way for caregivers to cope with the many emotions they will experience in providing care to aging parents is to prepare themselves for the wide range of emotions that pave the long and unforgettable road of caregiving.

Initially caregivers may relish in a great sense of self-worth and accomplishment, believing they have found a worthwhile purpose in their life. While some adult children are thwarted into the role of caregiver unexpectedly, many others eagerly agree to the role with a nurturing perspective that only they can provide the best care for their parent.

However, months or even years down the emotion-paved road of caregiving, the gung ho attitude is usually lost, or quickly dissipating. Caregivers begin to encounter more overwhelming emotions such as fear, frustration, guilt, and even caregiver burnout. When I provided care for my mother, I experienced all of these emotions at one time or another.

The one same fear most caregivers share is that of the unknown. Many caregivers worry that they won’t be able to afford adequate housing, appropriate medical care, or long-term insurance, if and when, the time ever comes to make those decisions. Caregiving to a parent on a limited income can make matters even more stressful. However, caregivers can combat the fear of the unknown by making preparations and planning before making any life-altering decisions.

Aside from fear, caregivers also feel extreme emotions of being overwhelmed at least once during their role as caregiver. Often caregivers feel guilty and torn between spending time with their own families and friends, while acting as a caregiver. Caregivers with a career also feel overwhelmed trying to juggle a career while trying to successfully allocate time to be a caregiver. The legal responsibilities associated with caregiving are also overwhelming. Issues such as naming a Power of Attorney, Living Wills, and Healthcare Proxies, can not only be physically and emotionally draining for a caregiver, but extremely frustrating if preparations haven’t been made in advance.

Usually in the midst of being overwhelmed, the caregiver forgets about the most important person of all - the caregiver. Oftentimes caregivers hold to the belief that they can do it all, never asking siblings or other family members to share in the caregiving responsibilities.

If you or someone you know find yourself in this situation, it’s important to realize asking for help and seeking support groups is not a sign of weakness. There is also a wealth of valuable resources available to help cope with all the emotional challenges of acting as a caregiver to an aging or disabled parent.

Use this article freely in print or electronic media, but please use author’s byline and let me know where and how it is used.

Long Distance Caregiving for a Loved One is Particularly Difficult

The phone rang at 5 a.m. John was sure it couldn’t be good news at that hour. He was right. Mom’s neighbors were calling him from 850 miles away in Texas to say that she was out watering her roses an hour ago on a cold, early spring morning. John knew that she had been failing. She wasn’t the same Mom he could always count to stand by him. Now he needed to stand by her. But how?

Families are now living further apart from each other. This is difficult because your elders require ever-increasing assistance, yet the distance between you makes it difficult to perform the tasks of a primary caregiver. But most elders are reluctant to leave their home of many years to move to the town in which their adult children live. This reluctance can become a stressful point of contention between adult children and their parent(s).

Often, it is a financial issue. In-home care and assisted living can be much more expensive in New York or California than in the center of the country. Resources simply may not stretch as far to allow one to live as one chooses. Regardless of the reasons, many adult children find themselves far away and concerned that parents are not doing as well as they may insist in those telephone visits. There are some ways to help manage long distance caregiving. +Try to visit as soon as possible to assess the situation. Take notes of possible problem areas and gather information about senior resources in their area. +Make sure legal and financial affairs are in place. Keep copies of important papers and telephone numbers of contacts. +Plan ahead to have back up providers to care for your own family in case you need to make an unexpected visit to your relative. It is also a good idea to bank some vacation or sick days from work for these visits as well. +Seek the assistance of a Professional Care Manager specializing in assessing and monitoring the needs of the elderly. +Consider all the options before moving your relative, but begin talking with them about this possibility. You could be surprised to learn they are willing to move closer to you, but they never mentioned this for fear of burdening you with their problems. +Retain a copy of the Yellow Pages that serves your parent's community. The next time your parent calls and you need to locate resources, you won't need to search out numbers or call information long-distance.

When you live hundreds of miles away from an aging loved one, there is a constant level of anxiety over his or her welfare. Every family must make their own decisions about how to handle the situation. Dr. Mary Pipher, in her book Another Country, Navigating the Emotional Terrain of our Elders makes a convincing argument for having the aging parent(s) move near the adult child who will, or currently handles their financial or care decisions. It is an option that should be given much consideration. Be sure to have a contact person who lives close to the parent periodically checking on their health and cognitive status. Better yet, also have someone who can act upon your and her or his behalf until you can.

When you decide to become a caregiver one of the first steps you need to take before moving someone into your home is to prepare your home for their arrival. Preparing your home for a disabled or ill adult is much the same as childproofing your home for a toddler. Each room must be gone through, reorganized if needed and made as accident proof as possible.

Here is a room by room checklist to use as a guideline.

Common Living Areas

• Are all electrical and telephone chords secured or out of the way to avoid being tripped over? Don't run your chords under rugs or furniture, they can become damaged or frayed and don’t use tacks or nails to secure them down.

• Will your loved one be able to turn lights on and off easily? If not you can try touchable lamps or lamps that react to sound.

• Do the doors and windows open easily and lock securely?

• Are walking pathways free of clutter?

• Will your loved one be able to get up and down from your sofa and chairs safely and easily? If not, straight back chairs with armrests and firm seats may be a wise investment. You can also add a firm cushion to your existing chairs since adding a bit of height will make it easier for them to sit down on and get up from.

• If your loved one is still able to use the phone you may want to purchase a telephone with large push buttons which will make dialing easy. Program all emergency numbers into speed dial, you can also write the numbers down and tape them to the wall by the phone. Another great idea is to obtain an emergency call system in case of fall or injury.

• Obtain a wireless intercom system so you can be easily reached if the person needs assistance.

• Make sure a television with remote control is accessible.

Kitchen

• Are your appliances in working order?

• Are your pots and pans, utensils and food easily accessible?

• Are all flammable materials away from the stove?

• Are sharp objects stored in a safe place?

• Is there adequate space to work?

• Call all kitchen outlets be reached safely?

• Is it easy to transfer food from the cooking area to the eating area?

• Are the sink faucets easy to turn on and off and easy to reach?

Bathroom

• Is the entrance to the bathroom easily accessed and free from clutter?

• Will your loved one be able to get in and out of the shower and bathtub safely on their own? If they can't you will have to install grab bars on both the inside and outside of the bath and shower. Remember that towel racks are not sturdy enough or meant to be used as grab handles.

• Make sure the shower or bathtub has a waterproof wireless intercom so assistance can be summoned if needed.

• Can your loved one shower safely standing up or is a chair needed? If you do need a chair, purchase one with non-skid pads.

• Have you placed non-skid strip pads and a bath mat in place?

• Have you installed a raised seat, a safety frame or a grab bar so your loved one can safely transfer to the toilet?

• Can the outlets, and light switches be easily reached?

• Do you have a nightlight for those midnight bathroom trips?

Bedroom

• You will have to consider purchasing an electric bed if your loved one has problems getting in and out of a regular bed safely.

• Can the bedside light be reached from bed?

• Is there a phone that can be reached from bed?

• Is there a wireless intercom that can be used to reach you in case of emergencies?

• Is there a clear path from the bed to the bathroom?

• If your loved one has difficulty getting in and out of bed you can install a trapeze bar for them to use.

• Do you have guardrails on the bed to ensure your loved one does not fall out during the night?

General Safety

• Do you have working smoke alarms, carbon monoxide detectors and fire extinguishers throughout your home? It is always a good idea to periodically check to make sure they are working properly.

• Do you have emergency numbers such as the hospital, fire, and 911 by the phone, as well as any other emergency contact number?

• Have you placed night lights in every room of the house if your loved one is a night wanderer? The little bit of light they do give off will help to prevent tripping and falling.

Special Equipment That You May Need

• A hospital bed

• A cane and or walker

• A wheelchair

• A bedside commode

• A transfer lift – to help get in and out of bed

• Oxygen

• Wireless intercom system

While this may seem like a lot of work on your part in order to get your home ready it really isn’t. Go through each room one at a time and make a list of things that need to be done, based on your loved ones disability or illness. You may find you are more prepared to be a caregiver than you thought you were.

About the Author:

For more information about a caregiver intercom system go to IntercomsOnline.com. Also read their article titled:Wireless Intercom for Elderly or Disabled.

If you are providing basic care to a person who has been diagnosed with a chronic condition you are a caregiver. A chronic condition is described as an illness that lasts a long time or doesn't go away at all. Chronic illnesses can be cancer, multiple sclerosis, dementia, stroke, diabetes and Alzheimer's disease.

Care giving requires a lot of your time, patience and strength. As a caregiver, you have to do for the person what they can no longer do for themselves.

There are many responsibilities a caregiver has that go far beyond just cooking and cleaning. They are:

• Bathing - When a person is no longer able to properly care for and maintain their hygiene it is up to the caregiver to take over this responsibility of bathing and personal hygiene.

• Turning him or her in bed - Once the person you are caring for has become bedridden you have reposition them in order to relieve the pressure on their body's pressure points so they don't end up with bed sores. Bed sores are extremely painful and if not tended to can deteriorate the skin down to the bone. So changing their position multiple times a day is very important.

• Feeding - Again, once the person you are caring for has reached a certain level of "deterioration" they will no longer be able to do the simple things anymore like feeding themselves. Also, you will have to alter the textures of the foods. It is not uncommon for those with chronic conditions to have to eat pureed foods because their reflex to swallow has slowed causing them to choke on more solid foods.

• Lifting - Whether or not the person you are caring for is completely bedridden or not you will still have to do some kind of lifting. It may be to transfer them from a stationary chair to a wheelchair, their wheelchair to the toilet or wheelchair to vehicle. Any type of lifting is hard on your body. There are ways to transfer a person to minimize the stress on your body. If you are caring for a person that needs transferring, get yourself a transfer belt and have a health care professional show you how to use it and how to transfer safely.

• Giving Medicine - Most often chronic illnesses require multiple medications that need to be given at varying times throughout the day. Some may need to be given with food, some with out, in the morning, or at bedtime. It is your responsibility as the caregiver to ensure you are giving the proper medications at the proper times.

• Emotional Support - When a person loses the things they are used to doing, simple daily activities like walking, eating, brushing their teeth, combing their hair, and going to the bathroom on their own, it is emotionally draining for them. As a caregiver you have to be able to offer or provide them the emotional support they need.

Before you agree to bring any family member into your home it is important that you know everything that is involved in being a caregiver. Talk to a healthcare professional and the doctor of the person you will be caring for. The responsibility at times can be overwhelming so you have to make sure you are up to the task.

Maria Sandella was the primary caregiver for her grandmother for 2 years until her passing. She also worked summers in a long-term care facility while attending college. She now works as an Application Specialist for IntercomsOnline.com, which provides wireless intercom systems that caregivers use for communications with the elderly and disabled. For more information about a caregiver intercom system go to http://IntercomsOnline.com

At some point in your life you will either be a caregiver or need one yourself. Becoming a caregiver may occur gradually over time or you may find yourself in the caregiving role overnight.

Caregiving is most often a full-time job without pay. Many of those who need the care are adults with a cognitive impairment which may cause them to have a difficult time with one or more basic functions of their brain, such as memory, perception, reasoning skills and concentration. There are many common causes of cognitive impairment, such as Alzheimer's, dementia, Parkinson's disease, stroke, brain tumor, brain injury or HIV associated dementia. Each of these disorders have their own unique features but they often cause common problems, situations and strategies among family members and caregivers.

One of the main reasons cognitive and memory impairments present challenge to caregivers is because it changes how a person feels, thinks and acts. It is difficult to have an ordinary conversation with your loved one when they can't remember what has been said from one moment to the next.

Some individuals with cognitive impairments often require special care which can include 24-hour supervision seven days a week as well as communication techniques and behavioral management. They may also need help with what is considered activities of daily living (ADLs) such as eating, bathing, toileting and other personal care.

The behaviors that caregivers may experience with a cognitive impaired person will be at best challenging. These behaviors may include preservation, which is them being fixated on an idea or the repetition of an activity, impulsive or aggressive behavior, lack of motivation, paranoia, incontinence, wandering and poor judgment. Some cognitive impaired individuals may develop these symptoms early on in the disease while others may go their entire illness with very minor issues.

It is not uncommon for those who have cognitive impairments to have good days and bad days, as well as mood swings that can change in an instant. As a caregiver, it is important for you to anticipate both the good and bad times, be compassionate, retain your sense of humor and most of all maintain patience as these will help you to cope better and more effectively able to deal with the difficult behavior. Just remember, it is not the person causing the behavior, it is the disease causing the behavior.

If you are the caregiver for someone with cognitive impairments ask your health professionals to educate you on the disease. They will be able to suggest techniques in order to manage the many behavioral problems you may encounter. They will also have ways in which to be able to better communicate, such as asking one question at a time and keeping your words and statements simple.

Being a caregiver to someone with cognitive impairments is a challenge. You will have your good days and bad days and days you just want to throw in the towel and give up. These are all normal reactions. Regardless of the odd or bad behavior the person throws your way, just remember, they would thank you if they could remember how.

Maria Sandella was the primary caregiver for her grandmother for 2 years until her passing. She also worked summers in a long-term care facility while attending college. She now works as an Application Specialist for IntercomsOnline.com, which provides wireless intercom systems that caregivers use for communications with the elderly and disabled. For more information about a caregiver wireless intercom go to IntercomsOnline.com. Also read their article titled: Wireless Intercom for Elderly or Disabled

It is universally agreed that one of the most difficult decisions a caregiver must make is deciding when it is finally time to choose a long term care facility for a loved one. Accepting that home is no longer enough is tremendously difficult for a caregiver and all concerned. Not only must families handle the grief, heartbreak and guilt of the placement, but they must also decide which type of care facility will be most appropriate for a loved one - plus, how to manage family finances. This period is, without a doubt, one of the most stressful for any family, especially for the the caregiver.

For the caregiver the bitter grief of separation and lingering guilt about the choice continues throughout this period. Caregiver strain can be made even harder by the patient who pleads to return home or asks staff to call the caregiver at home. Caregiver guilt can be devastating. As friends, family and community we can help acaregiver at this time. Telephone the caregiver often, or better still drop by for a visit. Listen to caregiver concerns and offer your support. Caregiving can be a very lonely game. A caregiver who has been out of the "social circle" for awhile will welcome an invitation to lunch or other pleasant outing.

Please don't forget the person in the care facility. Visit often, take old photos to jog pleasant memories and stimulate conversation. Knowing that friends and family continue to visit is a great comfort to the caregiver. We often hear from caregivers dealing with these issues.

Connie Metsger, director of Sun City's Residence for Alzheimer's Care, offers good advice:

"Dear Connie: My husband has recently moved into an Assisted Living Facility. He has had Alzheimer's disease for five years and has reached a stage where I could not manage his care at home any longer. I feel horrible about leaving him there, and I cannot get the image of his sad eyes out of my mind. The thought that we shall never again share the same home often brings me to tears. My friends tell me I made the right choice, and I know that they are correct. I have tried to get back to my old activities, but I feel so callous. How can I enjoy myself when Bob is so unhappy? I end up spending most days at the facility. Is the rest of my life going to be like this? - Judy

Making the decision to place a loved one under care is probably one of the hardest decisions a caregiver can ever be asked to make. Once the decision has been made, it is also very common to question whether you did the right thing. Going to a caregiver support group and hearing this from others may be helpful to you. They can share tips on how they handled their periods of caregiver adjustment. The trials of caregiver adjustment are not easily grasped by those who have not experienced similar hardship. Children and other family members may benefit from counseling as well. These are psychologically traumatic events, and we must deal with them as maturely and sensibly as possible."

Having to place your loved one in a care facility is hard enough. Trying to come up with the money to pay for their care can make a hard situation unbearable. Don't wait until it's too late. Speak to your long term care insurance Buyer's Advocate to see if coverage is right for you and your family.

Copyright (c) 2006 Clay Cotton

How to Shift from Daddy’s Girl to Dad’s Caregiver

Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. & Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.

Have you ever wondered how you can give back to your parents emotionally what they have given you?

It was painful for Tricia, as her father declined in his 80’s. “Dad and I shared such fun times together when I was young – he taught me how to ride a horse, shoot a BB gun, ice skate, stand on my head. He was always so active. Last year, I had to insist that he not drive anymore. Now, seeing him shuffle around just breaks my heart.”

It’s difficult to watch as your parents deteriorate. And they may complicate the situation by being in denial about their vulnerable condition. It’s up to you to acknowledge the true state of affairs and be straightforward in dealing with their increasing fragility. A number of issues must be discussed, uncomfortable as that is - health care directives in an emergency, long-term care options, a designated power of attorney, the distribution of income and assets.

After evaluating the practical issues that need to be managed, you will feel more in control as you gather detailed information and make arrangements for the most immediate concerns. Like Tricia, you can recall the good times and use some of the following tips to help you plan and implement your caregiving:

1. Embrace the changes in your parents and respect their integrity. Accept them at whatever stage they are, even as they become less strong physically and mentally. Willa reminisced about her Father. “He has always been my hero. As a child, I felt safe with him because he was powerful in many ways. Now I admire his courage and dignity, as he struggles with coming to terms with end of life issues.”

2. Spend time learning more about your parent’s illness. Educate yourself on what to expect and the resources available. Talk to friends who have gone through similar experiences, in order to get realistic feedback and concrete advice. Confront what you can and let go of the rest.

3. Make sure that your parents are as involved in the decision-making process as they can be. Moving out of their own home may signify their loss of independence. This often creates anger, frustration, or feelings of depression. Understanding their pain and engaging a geriatric social worker or gerontologist at this time can be helpful for everyone in the family.

4. Don’t do it alone – secure help, even if it is over your parents’ objections, and have support systems in place. Reach out, create a network, hire someone to assist them as often as you think is necessary. Betty was frantic about making arrangements for her Dad after his stroke. “I was so relieved when I was introduced to the hospital discharge planner. Her expertise and kindness made the move to a rehabilitation center almost bearable.” Make good use of community interventions, respite care, support groups and adult caregiver resources.

5. Be forthright with your family. Engage your siblings in the problems and the solutions. Ask for practical help and delegate responsibilities. Have them set aside personal agendas and work together toward collective goals.

6. Some nonprofit organizations nationwide offer free services or financial grants for respite care for family members who provide most of the care to their chronically ill elders. The federal government, through the National Family Caregiver Support Program, provided funds for respite care to over 190,000 families in 2004. To learn if there is a program in your local community, go online to Eldercare.gov and look for the Eldercare Locator, or call 1-800-677-1116.

7. See the present challenge as a teachable moment and make the most of learning whatever you can. Apply these lessons to other areas of your life. What insight have you gained about dealing with your own aging process? How can you talk to your children about your wishes when you become older?

8. Look for the positives in these tough times. Gloria was learning a lot about herself as she cared for her Dad in the last months of his life. “I had never really been tested like this before. Sometimes caring for him seemed like more than I could endure, but I kept going. Now I know how strong I can be.” In the end, think less about what you’re losing and more about the chance you may be gaining. This could be the only time in your life that you have the opportunity to give back to your parents emotionally what they have given to you.

9. As you discover more about developing your own capacity for resiliency, you will find the way to nourish yourself. You may call on your faith, your spirituality, or your sense of humor. Rely on whatever sustains you during these most difficult moments.

© http://www.HerMentorCenter.com , 2006

Alzheimer’s disease is a progressive disease in which the condition worsens over time. As more parts of the brain are being damaged, the symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease become more severe. Patients experience frustration and grief as they struggle with gradual loss of function and fading memory. Their family members grieve as well, as they observe their loved ones losing their abilities, personality and function. Anger, confusion, sadness and depression are common reactions in families experiencing anticipatory grief. Being an Alzheimer’s caregiver takes energy and courage. As the patient’s mental abilities decreases, the caregiver’s responsibility increases. Thus, the caring for a patient with Alzheimer’s disease could become increasingly difficult and stressful over time. Many Alzheimer’s disease caregivers experience intense stress as they struggle to understand the patient’s behavioural changes and determine what interventions will work for the problems that arise each day. This stressful task can have a detrimental effect on the caregiver’s emotional, social and physical well-being.

One possible way that the caregiver could reduce the stress of caregiving and cope with the task more effectively is to develop skills in caregiving. As Alzheimer’s disease progresses and the behavior of the patient become more complex, caregivers need to understand the patient’s changing behaviors and learn techniques to manage the behavioural difficulties. Thus, it is particularly important that the caregiver acquire knowledge about the Alzheimer’s disease and its progression, skills and strategies for managing the challenges, and information on the available resources to turn to when the need arises. This is even more essential if the caregiver is new to the task. If a new caregiver has totally no knowledge of Alzheimer’s disease and is greatly lacking in coping skills, the task of caregiving is even more difficult. Along the way, as the caregiver encounter more and more unexpected new challenges, the caregiver will definitely feel overwhelmed by these problems. The stress experienced by the caregiver would certainly be greater and could result in a detrimental effect on the caregiver’s well-being, which in turn could result in an adverse impact on the patient’s situation.

It is also important to note that every patient deserves the highest standard of care possible and an equipped caregiver is more able to provide the high standard of care required for the patient. At times, although an elderly person with severe impairment in memory and mental function may need to be communicated with at the primary functioning level of a small child, but he or she also needs, and has a right to be respected as an adult. A trained caregiver would learn the communication skills required to interact with the patient and be more equipped to provide proper care for the patient. Hence, training is necessary for the caregiver to acquire the appropriate skills needed for the job and enable the caregiver to provide the standard of care required. The patient will benefit from the quality of care provided.

Thus, the importance of developing skills in caregiving should not be overlooked. It would certainly help the caregiver to cope with the task and reduce the stress of caregiving. At the same time, the caregiver will be able to provide the standard of care required and the patient will benefit from it. Furthermore, if caregivers find that their approaches are effective, they will gain confidence and increased satisfaction doing the task. In this way, hopefully, caregivers would end up finding meaning and purpose in the difficult task of caregiving instead of finding the task a daunting one.

Copyright 2006 Rose Mary

Being a new caregiver is hard and can lead to depression if you let it. Not everyone who becomes a caregiver will experience depression and the negative feelings that often go with depression. Don't look at caregiving as something that if you do you will end up depressed and on medication. The depression begins to show up when you shut yourself off from what is familiar to you and solely concentrate on caregiving.

In an effort to provide the best possible care to your loved one, the caregiver often sacrifices their own emotional and physical needs, and by doing this even the strongest, most capable person can feel the strain. The feelings of anger, sadness, anxiety, isolation, exhaustion, and then the guilt that is often accompanied by these feeling is a heavy toll for anyone to take.

Depression and guilt often go hand-in-hand. When you get angry at the person you are caring for and begin to have negative feelings towards them, feelings of guilt occur, followed by feelings of depression for feeling that way. It is a cycle that continues until you seek help.

We all have negative feelings from time to time, but when these feelings become intense and leave a caregiver totally drained of energy, becoming angered at their loved one for no particular reason, and crying frequently, these may be warning signs of depression. You need to be concerned about depression if the sadness and crying are continuous and the negative feelings are unrelenting.

It is unfortunate that some still think of depression as a sign of weakness rather than what it is, a sign that something is out of balance. Ignoring the feelings you have will not make them go away, it is important that you seek out medical help.

Symptoms of Depression

Most people's experience with depression is different. Some people may be sad for months while others may have a more intense and sudden change in the way they look at things. The degree of symptoms and type of symptoms will vary from person to person.

If you experience any of the following for longer than 2 weeks you may want to go and talk to your doctor.

• Have your eating habits changed resulting in either a dramatic weight gain or weight loss.
• Have your sleep patterns changed – either sleeping too much or too little.
• Do you fee tired all the time, even after just waking up.
• Do you become easily angered or agitated?
• Do you have the feelings that nothing you do is good enough?
• Are you having thoughts suicide or death?
• Are you experiencing headaches, chronic pain, and digestive disorders that are not responding to treatments?

The above symptoms are warning signs of depression so it is important to talk to your doctor so you can get help. If you don’t feel comfortable using the word depression, inform your doctor that you are 'feeling down' or 'feeling blue'. Your doctor will understand the message you are trying to get across and get you the help you need.

About the Author:

For more information about a caregiver intercom system go to IntercomsOnline.com. Also read their article titled:Wireless Intercom for Elderly or Disabled.